Out of my mind by Sharon M. Draper

This is the second Stage 3 (age 10+) book I've read this week that tells the tale of a girl genius and has a goldfish on the cover (the first being Counting by 7s). In this case, the genius is 11 year old Melody who is in a wheelchair and cannot talk or walk, and the goldfish relates to being trapped in a bowl rather than swimming against the tide. The book has a good storyline with a few plot twists.

The story explores Melody's thoughts and frustrations, the experience of parenting a child with special needs, and how Melody is treated by teachers and able-bodied students. Some children in the story are blatantly rude while others try to be kind. Though even the kind ones struggle to know what to say when they're with her, or where to look when she starts to drool.

Melody's life changes first when her sister is born, then when her school introduces an inclusion programme, and later when she gets a computer that can speak pre-programmed words and phrases. The computer finally allows her to communicate. Her schoolmates are shocked when Melody turns out to be super bright.

The book is not simply a reminder that children with physical disabilities can be highly intelligent. It explores friendships between people who are different. It looks at how people (both children and adults) often feel uncomfortable around anyone who is different and would rather not have to deal with them. It shows that the provision of teachers for children with special needs is very hit and miss, that the work is hard, and the staff turnover is high.

Other characters include:

Penny - Melody's little sister.

Catherine -  a university student who works as an aide with Melody.

Rose - Melody's able-bodied school friend.

Claire - a smart and blatantly rude school child.

Mrs Billups - a teacher put in charge of H-5 who treats the children like pre-schoolers.

Mr Dimming - the teacher in charge of the school quiz team.

Mrs V - a neighbour who has child-minded and encouraged Melody since she was a baby.

Questions for discussion:

Do you think children with disabilities should be taught in separate schools or classes or in the same class as everyone else?

How could Melody's intelligence have been more accurately assessed before she started school?

Why do you think the quiz team met for breakfast without Melody?

How do you think Melody felt about her sister? (Provide evidence).

How did Mr Dimming feel about Melody? (Provide evidence).

Why do you think Claire suddenly claimed to be Melody's best friend?

There are two major plot twists towards the end of the book. What do they add? Why do you think the author put them in?

In chapter 32 how does the author show that Mr Dimming and the class are embarrassed without using the word?

Counting by 7s by Holly Goldberg Sloan

This book tells the story of Willow, a 12 year old genius with a passion for gardening. The themes explored include, what it means to be different, what constitutes family, personal growth, and how life can change in an instant. 

I would have preferred the story without quite so much giftedness! It made Willow less believable as a character and suggested that people were helping her because they had something to gain, rather than simply showing compassion. 

Other characters include:

Dell Duke - a lacklustre counsellor. Willow is asked to meet with Dell after she gets 100% in a standardised test and the principal assumes she cheated. 

Mai & Quang-ha Nguyen - teenage clients of Dell Duke. 

Pattie Nguyen - mother of Mai and Quang-ha. Pattie is a smart single mum from Vietnam, who runs a nail salon and lives in a garage.

Jairo Hernandez - a taxi driver that Willow befriends.

** SPOILERS **

Some questions for discussion:

Was Pattie right to save her money and live in a garage?

How credible is Willow's intelligence? Would it really be possible to pick up Vietnamese in 12 months? Would she really want to pick up a book on astrophysics? 

In what ways was Dell Duke a good social worker?

What effect did meeting Willow have on Mai, Pattie, Jairo, Dell, Quang-ha? In what way did they change?

Other than being smart, how else would you describe Willow's personality? Use evidence from the book to support this. 

Adultery by Paulo Coelho

I spotted this novel in a bookshop and was surprised that the author of The Alchemist appeared to be writing 'chick lit'. I was just starting to prepare for two weeks of exams, so I bought it as a bit of a treat to read when I finished them. I read it in a day and a half.

The book tells the story of Linda who is a thirty something, rich, bored, Swiss journalist and mother. She has a fling with an old school mate. There's not a huge amount of plot; most of the book is Linda's inner thoughts. Sex scenes are interspersed with quotes from the Bible, ramblings about love and jealousy, and some sound advice.

Coelho does a good job of getting into a woman's head in all but the sex scenes. Having knelt down and performed oral sex on her boyfriend Linda thinks, "the fact is, it was better for me than him". Really?!

Overall the book is very much 'of its time'. It looks at how people search for meaning and happiness in all the wrong places and have little concern for anyone but themselves."He put me on all fours like a dog" is on one page, and on the next, "to love abundantly is to live abundantly. To love forever is to live forever. Eternal life is coupled with Love."

Screen Time By Lisa Guernsey

As a student teacher I've been told that children under two should never watch television, that it damages their eyesight and their cognitive development. I was keen to find out the facts. Lisa Guernsey is a journalist, rather than an academic or a medical professional, but her book is based on academic studies and independent research. Here are some of her findings:

Children will not turn into zombies sitting in front of of TV, but if they watch a lot of TV that is aimed at older children (e.g. toddlers watching Power Rangers and Spongebob) it can affect their cognitive development.

Sitting in front of the TV doesn't make children obese, but a lot of the advertising during children's TV is for unhealthy food. TV characters are also used to market unhealthy food, so a child who loves Dora the Explorer is more likely to pester for unhealthy food with Dora on the packet.

Children under 12 months are not learning from TV (though they're not being harmed either). When shows like the Teletubbies are cut into 2 second slices and jumbled up, babies under 12 months can't tell the difference between that and the real show.

All TV is not equally educational. What children watch matters. The most educational shows for preschoolers include Sesame Street, Blues Clues and Barney. Children can't follow anything that keeps cutting from scene to scene, has flashbacks, or has a complicated storyline.

Children will gain more from watching a TV show if you watch it with them, discuss what is happening, and follow it up with hands-on activities that explain the same ideas. So if the number of the day on Sesame Street is four, you can encourage the child to write the numeral four and count four things after the show.

The danger in TV and other screen based activities is that children miss out on the things they might be doing if they weren't watching. A child watching a movie in the back of the car is missing out on everything they might see if they looked out of the window. A child sat indoors is missing out on activities that might develop gross and fine motor skills or social skills.

Every child is different. Some children might be scared by a programme that others love, so you need to keep an eye on what they're watching and how they're reacting. Swiper in Dora the Explorer frightens a lot of children.

Background TV is more of a problem than foreground TV. If the TV is on all the time children are being exposed to adult content (e.g. the news) that they are not ready to see. Children struggle to filter out the background noise of the TV. This affects their play and their language development as they don't hear everything their parents or siblings are saying to them. This is the same if the radio is on all the time or music is playing.

Guernsey talks about adults taking children age 3 and under to horror movies (rather than getting a babysitter). This does no harm to a baby who is asleep, but can cause anxiety problems in toddlers. They are not old enough to differentiate between real and unreal. One child for example, knew that Big Bird from Sesame Street wasn't real, but thought it was a smaller bird dressed up!

Children learn best while interacting with an adult who is physically present. You can watch a TV show or play an app, but you really can't beat sitting down with a child and a quality picture book, asking the child questions and pointing things out.

Far From the Tree by Andrew Solomon

This books looks at what it means to be different, or more specifically, what it means to parent a child who is different. There are chapters on parenting children who are deaf, dwarfs, Down Syndrome, autistic, schizophrenic, disabled, criminal, prodigies, transgender or born after rape. The underlying message is that we are all different in some way and if we could just stop looking at what makes people different, we'd come to appreciate people for who they are.

A recurring theme in the book is, what is or isn't a disability. For some deaf people, deafness is not a disability but a unique culture. One dwarf describes his situation as a 'predicament' rather than a disability i.e. it's only a problem because most other people are tall. If there were more dwarfs they'd be better catered for and, apart from medical complications, it would be no big deal.

Accepting people with disabilities (or people in a predicament) for who they are, means avoiding two extremes: bullying people with disabilities and patronising them with offers of assistance and charity. Solomon suggests that people in lower socioeconomic groups are much more tolerant of difference, whereas affluent people strive for perfection and are more likely to reject children who are not seen as perfect.

Solomon contrasts horizontal identity, that is traits we share with people outside our family, with  vertical identity, or cultural heritage, which we usually inherit from our parents (unless they are migrants). People who share the same horizontal identity (being gay, deafness, dwarfism, genius etc) often have more in common and can provide more support than family.

Selective abortion is discussed in many of the chapters. Solomon doesn't argue against selective abortion per se, but brings up the issue of choice e.g. should dwarf parents be able to choose to have a dwarf child, or deaf parents select a child who will be deaf? People with the disability usually say yes. This is not surprising, who would want to prevent people just like themselves from being born? People without the disability often disagree, some IVF clinics refuse to implant embryos that they know will result in a child with a disability.

The book explores a lot of issues. I spent almost a year slowly reading it. As a result, I feel much better informed about these issues, as a parent, as a friend of parents who have children with disabilities, and as a trainee teacher.

Deaf Child

Up to thirty years ago, the big issue for parents of deaf children was whether they should be taught sign language or encouraged to speak. Most parents were pushed down the speech path (this was known as the oralist movement); this was a disaster for many children.  The children spent most of their school years learning a very basic form of speech, when they could have been learning algebra etc. On the other hand, children who learn sign language often keep pace with their peers academically. The only drawback of sign language seems to be that parents of children who sign often struggle to learn the language themselves. This leaves the parents feeling like outsiders.

Nowadays sign language is understood to be a full, visual, physical language. The big issue for parents has moved onto whether their child should receive cochlea implants or not. Implants do not restore hearing (and often kill off any remaining residual hearing), but they do allow children to develop speech and fit more easily into mainstream society.

Some deaf people see implants and hearing aids as a form of eugenics, wiping out sign language and deaf culture. There is no doubt that the culture is diminishing, but whether it should be saved, and how it might be saved, is an ongoing debate.

Dwarfism

Most dwarfs or Little People (LP) are born to average height parents with no dwarfism in the family. Finding their baby is an LP usually comes as a shock to parents. Solomon suggests many would prefer their child to have a heart defect or even Down Syndrome.

People tend to stare at LPs, so for many LPs, annual conventions and meetings are a lifeline and the only time they feel normal. When LPs get together height becomes irrelevant and they can finally be noticed for something other than being small. That said, there are some LPs who prefer to stay away from the conventions and feel more comfortable amongst their average height friends.

Opinions vary amongst LPs as to whether or not it is a disability. When it comes to being accepted by other people, LPs don't want to be seen as disabled, but when it comes to disability payments, many would struggle without them. Limb lengthening is a controversial topic. It can add up to eleven inches to someone's height, making the difference between fitting in and standing out, but at the expense of years of painful, expensive and risky surgery.

Down Syndrome

Solomon starts with an open letter from a parent with a child who has DS, to other parents of DS children. This famous letter begins 'Welcome to Holland'. The author goes on to suggest that parenting a child with DS is like thinking you're going on holiday to Italy and finding you've gone to Holland i.e. it's not what you were expecting, but tulips and windmills aren't that bad.

Children with DS might be ahead of their peers academically before they start school, but at about age eight everyone else catches up and overtakes them. They might fit in socially and have regular friends, but these relationships often fizzle out in the teenage years.

Early Intervention programmes for babies with Down Syndrome (DS) can mean the difference between the child, as an adult, functioning around the level of a six year old or a ten year old. That's the difference between needing full time care and being able to live independently and possibly hold down a job. High functioning adults often struggle to hold down a regular job, not because they can't do the work, but because they fail to understand that it has to be done in a particular way. They tend to be tenacious and won't simply do as they're told.

Autism

Unlike the conditions covered in the previous chapters, this chapter suggest that having a child with autism is probably much worse than you imagine. There are a lot of anecdotes about faeces being smeared around, parents being treated as objects, and parents being hospitalised due to mental health issues brought on by raising their autistic child.  A parent whose child has Autism wrote a parody of the famous 'Welcome to Holland' letter (see section on Down Syndrome) which began, 'Welcome to Beirut'.

Some people argue that Autism, like dwarfism, is a difference rather than a disability. There is a growing neuro-diversity movement. Silicone Valley employs a lot of people with Aspergers and Autism; they may not have great social skills, but they have great minds. However, it's difficult to argue that not being fully toilet trained, as it the case with many autistic adults, is not a disability.

The chapter ends with examples of parents who have finally cracked and killed their autistic children (filicide). These are often seen by the courts as being mercy killings and the parents have been given light sentences.

Schizophrenia

The book starts with disabilities that are manageable, at least if you can afford the help you need, but then moves on to the really scary ones. Schizophrenia, the books suggests, is a lot like Autism except it usually strikes in adolescence.

Very little is known about how and why Schizophrenia develops. However, it is thought to be as a result of too few connections in the brain, whereas Autism results from too many. The brain prunes neural connections during adolescence. Schizophrenia is thought to be with a child from birth, but doesn't manifest itself until this adolescent pruning process, which then goes wrong. Schizophrenia shows little correlation in identical twins, which suggest there is a nurture as well as a nature element to the disease i.e. sometimes it remains dormant and sometimes it doesn't.

Many of the adolescents discussed in the book were exceptionally bright teenagers, at Ivy League colleges, who suddenly experienced some sort of psychotic event. The descriptions of hallucinations are terrifying. One of the sufferers described experiencing dead birds in her mouth and a cat gnawing at her genitalia. Like Autism, the chapter includes examples of filicide, but in the case of Schizophrenia more parents seem to end up spending the rest of their lives in jail.

It is extremely difficult to get an adult with Schizophrenia into full time care. They often go through a pattern of psychosis, they have a short stint in hospital were they take medication, they are released from hospital and feel that they don't need medication, this leads to the next instance of psychosis. Sufferers will only be readmitted to hospital if they are a danger to themselves or others, which is difficult to prove.

Disability

Most of the children in this chapter are mentally and physically impaired. Many have little in any cerebrum, the grey matter in the brain that does the thinking. Many are unable to walk, talk, or feed themselves. This is a different situation to children with autism or schizophrenia. It is more predictable. It's still stressful, but the book suggests parents can get used to most things that become routine, even a lifetime of changing diapers and feeding. The issues seem to come when the child becomes too big too handle, or the parents get to the age were they can no longer lift the child.

One family persuaded doctors to give hormones to their disabled daughter that stunted her growth, so she never grew beyond five feet tall. They persuaded the same doctors to carry out a hysterectomy so she wouldn't grow breasts (which would have make lying down more uncomfortable) or menstruate. Many people with disabilities argue that this is abhorrent and that the family were just trying to make things easy for themselves. The author argues that there isn't a clear line between what makes things easier for the child or the parent. Anything that makes things easier for the parent means the parents will be able to look after the child in the home for longer, which is also better for the child. Happy parents, happy child. Opponents of the procedures argue that if you're going to do a hysterectomy to make things easier for the parents, then why not remove the child's limbs (that they are unable to use) so that they are even easier to lift? This sounds abhorrent to most people, but it's a similar argument to the hormones and hysterectomy.

Prodigies

This long and rather dull chapter focuses on music prodigies. It suggests that some children develop music as a first language; they find it easier to express themselves through music than through spoken language. It is this that sets them apart from the child who simply practises a lot.

Solomon is more critical of the parents of music prodigies than any other parents in the book. He suggests the children are often pursuing their parents ambitions rather than their own; he points outs that no child turns themselves into a concert pianist.  Children spend thousands of hours practising with very little chance of a career as a solo performer. There is a whole industry looking for the next prodigy, so even if they make it, each child's day in the sun is very short lived.

Rape

Solomon tells the stories of a number of women who have been raped, become pregnant and then had the baby; he often includes the child's story. One or two of the women were raped by complete strangers, but most knew their attacker and some were married to them. A significant number of the children grew up to be abused or raped themselves.

The stories show the devastating effect rape has on the life of the woman and often the life of the child. The women tend to lose confidence in their ability to judge a man's character and so many of them end up in relationships with men who everyone else can see are trouble. Some of the women have gone on to love and cherish their offspring, while others have created physical and emotional barriers that have harmed their child's emotional and social development.

What I found particularly threatening is that in many cases the rapist tries to get joint custody or full custody of the child. The mothers often haven't pressed charges against the men (because they never told anyone they were raped or they were unlikely to get a conviction) and as a result of the rape their lives have fallen apart, so the chance of the father getting joint custody can be quite high.

The chapter ends by looking at rapes that have taken place during war or unrest. The aim is usually to humiliate the enemy or kill the woman slowly by infecting her with HIV. In many cultures if a man is savagely attacked while defending his family he is a hero; if a women is raped in similar circumstances, she is considered a whore, who should have killed herself before letting that happen. I have to say this section made me think twice about immigration. I wouldn't want to live next door to someone whose idea of getting even involves raping someone's daughter or slaughtering their sons with a machete.

Crime

This chapter is particularly good; it has a variety of stories and Solomon has obviously got close to the children and their families over a number of years.  Most of the children come from poor, dysfunctional families and have often been sexually abused. Solomon argues that providing ongoing parenting courses for 'at risk' families and counselling for the children, would greatly reduce the number of children who turn to crime and improve rates of recidivism. Many children who are selling drugs or stealing would like to find a way out but can't.

The final part of the chapter tells the story of the parents of one of the two boys responsible for the 1999 Columbine high school massacre. They claim their son was not a reclusive loner, but popular, bright and reasonably outgoing. The death toll is often quoted as being 13, but that doesn't include the two shooters. The parents feel they also lost a son that day. They've seen some hate videos he made and have come to realise that they didn't know what was going on in his life. He'd been bullied and had talked of taking his own life. They've stayed in the same town because there are people there who were friends with their son. They find comfort in not being the only people who failed to notice that something was terribly wrong.

Transgender

There's a whole spectrum of gender diversity. This ranges from a preference for the toys or clothes usually associated with the other sex, through to living life as the other sex, undergoing cosmetic surgery or hormone treatment and finally to undergoing a full blown sex change.

Surgery to genitalia is a last step. Many transgender people live as the other gender but keep their original genitalia. Sex change operations are painful, expensive and even if they look reasonable, fertility is never achieved and levels of stimulation are usually unsatisfactory.

It's okay to be sympathetic towards trans people (while it's not PC to show sympathy towards someone who is gay). To be trans means there is a disunity between the body someone is born with and the gender their mind perceives them to be. In the past, the only option was to try and change the person's mind; this usually failed. Surgery and hormone treatments are now available to treat the body. Hormone treatments allow puberty to be stopped. Testosterone can deepen a women's voice and lead to facial hair etc, while oestrogen can stop a man developing facial hair.

Two things struck me when I read the chapter. The first was the ferocity of the attacks made by other parents on some of the families who allowed their children to cross dress. Many of the children were asked to leave schools, but other families had to leave town because their lives were in danger. The second thing was how young some of the children were when they decided they wanted to dress or live as the opposite sex. Some were as young as three. Not all children that cross dress grow up to be trans (to have a desire to live as the opposite gender), some are going through a phase, while others simply grow up to be gay.

Parents of trans children are in a catch-22 situation. If they stop their sons from wearing dresses it can lead to depression and possibly suicide. If they allow them to, then it often leads to teasing and bullying, which in turn can lead to depression. While it's much more socially acceptable for a girl to be a tomboy than for a boy to be a 'sissy', if  a girl wants to go to school in boys' uniform and to be called Paul, they're likely to face bullying.

Betrayed by Richard Scorer

This book, written by a lawyer who represented victims of sexual abuse, discusses the English Catholic church and its reaction to the sex abuse crisis. Overall it gives an insightful and reasonably balanced view. The author examines two positions on how the crisis came about, the conservative position (which blames liberal attitudes to sex in the 60s and Vatican II) and the liberal (which blames clericalism, authoritarianism and celibacy), and sides firmly with the liberals.

Scorer highlights the Nolan report's insistence on the paramountcy principle (that the child's interests should take precedent over those of the accused) which led to  priests being put on garden leave if accusations were made against them, and the backlash against the paramountcy principle by many clergy and Catholic laity. He suggests, I think unfairly, that priests felt themselves to be a special case on the basis that they are ontologically changed as a result of ordination. My thoughts are that priests simply wanted to be considered innocent until proven guilty.

The author believes the church still has a long way to go in supporting the victims of abuse. The church has done all it can to defend itself through the courts, to minimise payouts and to silence victims. Scorer concedes that it might be the church's insurers that have encouraged clergy to do this.

Many reports have argued that the sex abuse crisis in the church was more one of pederasty than pedophilia i.e. it involved boys in the 14 plus age group. Scorer points out that this is no less damaging to the child than incidents involving younger children, and involves the same grooming and abuse of power.

The book suggests that the abuse of vulnerable adults, not just those with physical or mental disabilities but also people in crisis who come to the priest for help (particularly women), will be the next major scandal.

Scorer points out the high rates of recidivism amongst pedophiles and the church's failure to take this seriously. There is no doubt that the church in many cases covered up, moved around or protected priests at the expense of victims. Many of the abusers were young, charismatic, sporty priests who families welcomed into their homes, and who people least expected. Others 'hid in full site', like monk David Pearce at St Benedict's School, Ealing who was known amongst the boys as 'Gay Dave'.

How to Talk so Kids will Listen and Listen so Kids will Talk

I bought this after reading rave reviews on The Jericho Tree. The book contains some great tips but it could easily be condensed into thirty (if not three) pages so I'm going to use this post to remind myself of the main ideas.

Listening.

You need to show empathy when you talk to children. They need their feelings validated and acknowledged not dismissed. To do this:

• Listen with full attention rather than questioning or giving advice.
• Use "oh", "Mmm" and "I see" to encourage them to speak further and come up with their own solutions.
• Give their feelings a name - "that sounds frustrating!"
• Give them their wishes in fantasy -  "I wish I could give you a pony".

Let a small child draw how angry they are or draw some zig zags and ask "is this how angry you are?"

If a child is really angry just being there may be all they need you don't have to talk.

To Engage Cooperation.

• Describe what you see or describe the problem - "there's is milk on the floor".
• Give information - "that will start to smell if it isn't cleaned up".
• Say it with a word - "cloth".
• Talk about your feelings - "I feel taken for granted when a problem is just left for me".
• Write a note - "Please clean this up xx".

Alternatives to Punishment.

• Point out a way to be helpful - "it would be helpful if you could…".
• Express strong disapproval (without attacking character) - "I don't like what you're doing it is disturbing other people".
• State your expectations - "I expect you to eat at the table".
• Show the child how to make amends.
• Offer a choice - "you can watch TV quietly or you can go to bed".
• Take Action (remove or restrain) - turn off the TV.
• Allow natural consequences to occur - don't take them back to the place where they misbehaved.

Don't use time-out and naughty chairs. Give a child private time with a caring adult who will help them deal with their feelings and figure out better ways to handle them.

Problem Solving with children.

• Talk about the child's feelings and needs e.g. they want 6 friends to sleep over.
• Talk about your feelings and needs e.g. you have to work the next day.
• Brainstorm some solutions - write down all possible options without evaluating.
• Cross off the unacceptable solutions and talk through the possibles.

Encouraging Autonomy.

• Let children make choices (at what time will you take your bath?)
• Show respect for a child's struggle (offer a tip rather than rushing in to help them).
• Don't ask too many questions ("Welcome home" rather than "how was the party….").
• Don't rush to answer questions (they've probably given it some thought themselves already) - Child "Why do I have to wear my hat" Adult "Why do you have to wear a hat?"
• Encourage children to use sources outside the home (internet, school librarian).
• Don't take away hope (don't try to protect them from disappointment by dousing their dreams in realism).

Don't talk about a child if front of them, it makes them feel like objects.

Praise and Self-Esteem.

• Describe what you see "You said you'd be ready at 5pm and you are".
• Describe what you feel "It's great not to be rushing".
• Sum up in a word "that's what I call punctuality".

How to free children from playing roles (e.g. living up to a 'naughty child' label).

• Look for opportunities to show the child a new picture of themselves - "you were honest about breaking that toy".
• Put children in situations where they can see themselves differently - "can you reach the suitcase down from the wardrobe for me?".
• Let children overhear you saying something positive about them - "he stayed still at the dentist".
• Model the behaviour you'd like to see.
• Be a storehouse for your child's special moments - "remember when you baked Grandma's birthday cake".
• When they behave according to the old label state your feelings and your expectations - "I know you don't want to come off the computer but I don't like it when you lie about how long you've been on".

Unapologetic by Francis Spufford

The aim of the book is to describe "what Christianity feels like from the inside". The book is entertainingly written and much of what the author describes resonated with me. That said, there were things I liked and things I didn't.

Spufford refers to sin as the HPtFtU 'the human propensity to fuck things up'. This sits much more comfortably with me than the definition we use to prepare children for First Reconciliation "doing things wrong on purpose". I don't like that I do things wrong on purpose but I can look back on my life and clearly see the HPtFtU. His definition of sin comes from an Anglican / Church of England perspective which means as a Catholic I'll be sticking to a definition of sin that makes me less comfortable.

Two things I liked about the book were Spufford's attack on the bus ad pictured below and his attack on the song Imagine by John Lennon (which I've always seen as a call to atheism and a dull one at that). Regarding the bus, he points out that it's the word "enjoy" that sticks in the throat rather than "probably". What about all the people who are unemployed, sick or grieving?

Spufford makes Christianity attractive by emphasising the radical, ridiculous call to love your enemies and love your neighbour as yourself and the transformation that comes about through grace when we try to do this and through the sacraments. He avoids an unchallenging "just be nice" kind of Christianity.

Moving to the things I didn't enjoy, there's a long chapter "Yeshua" which summarises the Gospel. This is entertaining and useful to anyone not familiar with the story, but I skimmed through it. Chapter 7 veers far from Catholic teaching. After explaining the traditional understanding of hell the book states "the majority of us have not believed in it for several years". When it comes to why the church differs from mainstream secular opinion on sex outside of marriage or same-sex marriage Spufford states "the church will reconfigure at snail-like speed, for a new social reality" i.e. the church will get with the programme eventually but it might take some time.

Introducing Moral Theology by William C. Mattison III

I really enjoyed this book, it's comprehensive, practical and easy to read. It answered many of the  questions that I came up against when I studied the Life in the Spirit section of the Catechism such as the relationship between emotions and virtue, the role of conscience in making decisions, and the relationship between freedom and grace.

The book begins by explaining what a morality of happiness is i.e. doing the right thing because it leads to happiness, as oppose to a morality of obligation which means doing things we'd rather not because the world would be a worse place if we didn't all follow certain rules. Catholic moral theology is based on a morality of happiness. In the truly virtuous person there is no difference between what they want to do and the right thing to do.

After a general discussion of moral acts, freedom, virtue and habit  the book looks at each of the cardinal virtues and then the theological virtues. In between these chapters there are four chapters that look at particular moral questions: the role alcohol plays in college life, just war and whether dropping the atomic bomb on Hiroshima could be considered a good act, sex outside of marriage, and euthanasia. I skimmed quickly through these chapters but I'd recommend them to anyone who is facing a particular issue.

Finally the book includes chapters on sin, Christ, grace and how the seven petitions of the Lord's prayer match the seven virtues. The highlights for me were the chapters on temperance, prudence, charity, Christ and grace. Below are some brief notes on the Cardinal virtues.

Temperance - this chapter breaks down the move from intemperance to temperance into four stages. The first is recognising that you are intemperate (you overeat, under-eat, drink to much, spend too much time playing video game etc), the second is incontinence (you desire to change but you can't), the third is continence (you are able to do the right thing but you still struggle with temptation), the fourth is when indulgence is no longer even tempting. This is where the passions are discussed. While we can't control what emotions arise, the fully temperate person is free from inappropriate passions (they are not fighting their own disordered desires). That is not to say they are without emotion, but their emotions fit the occasion. They might get angry at an injustice but not simply at a perceived slight.

Prudence - prudence is right judgement in action, the ability to see what the right thing to do is and act. It's about being able to see situations as they really are with no self-deception. This is also where conscience comes in. A poorly formed conscience will not even be aware that something isn't prudent.

Justice - "is the habit of acting in a manner that nourishes right relations with others". It applies not just to criminal cases but to families or any group. Justice contributes to well ordered relations.

Fortitude - "is the habit that enables you to face difficulties well". Aquinas divides fortitude into attack and endurance. The book uses the serenity prayer to illustrate the difference, attack is 'the courage to change the things I can' while endurance is 'the serenity to accept the things I cannot change'. Aquinas says that endurance is the hardest part of fortitude e.g patiently putting up with suffering. The person with fortitude still feels fear (the urge to flee) but is able to withstand the fear and act, whereas the coward feels fear and flees.

How children Succeed by Paul Tough

This book looks at the soft skills (character traits) that allow children to succeed outside of basic IQ and why children from poorer backgrounds tend to have poorer outcomes at school. These soft skills seem to vary from early years, to high school, to college.  The book points out that years of educational reform have failed to help poor children, even the reasonably bright ones, out of poverty, though some progress has been made amongst the better-off low income families.

Early in the book Tough looks at stress, showing that children with a high level of stress over a long period (divorce / alcoholic parents / poverty etc) have poor working memory and more health problems. This is caused by the effect on the body of it's own response to stress (increased blood flow, switching to fight or flight mode etc). These responses are meant for short term situations (like being chased by a lion) but when they are switched on over extended periods e.g. a child living in a dangerous area, they have negative affects on health and concentration that continue long after the stressor is removed.

Lab rats that were licked and groomed by a mother rat became strong and healthier than rats that weren't. Similarly children that have mothers who listen to them and respond in a nurturing way (particularly in the first 12 months) tend to become capable and confident. So the antidote to a difficult start in life might be a particularly nurturing mother. Sadly mothers in difficult situation are often just as stressed as the child and may not have the time or inclination to provide this nurturing.

Poor people tend to live in areas with other poor people therefore they have little opportunity to hear well spoken English or see someone go to work everyday. It takes motivation and opportunity over a long period of time to lift even one child out of poverty. Good teachers are important, but even if a child is given access to great teachers over many years, they may not have the support from home or the resources they need to succeed.

Character is as important as IQ when it comes to success and it's important that children believe that both are malleable i.e. you can become smarter and develop character. There are two types of character traits, traditional moral character (good manners, kindness, honesty) and traits that improve exam success like persistence, self-control and curiosity. The character traits for success at school that the book highlights include:

grit,

self-control,

zest,

social intelligence,

gratitude,

optimism,

curiosity.

Children can be taught strategies for improving character. In the classic experiment where children are given a marshmallow and told they can eat it or wait 15 mins and get two, the children who simply looked at the marshmallow quickly gave in and ate it. The children who were able to resist used strategies such as turning their back on the marshmallow, pretending it was made of something unpleasant, keeping themselves busy by counting or singing, one boy even curled up and went to sleep.

Children from affluent backgrounds can struggle at college because they have distant mothers who have provided tutors etc but not 'licking and grooming', but also from not being allowed to fail and then try again. Affluent children often lack the motivation to work hard because their families provides a safety net against failure. Children need the motivation to succeed but also the will-power (volition) to be able to do more than just dream of success. Will power involves setting rules and goals and then sticking to them e.g. "I will get an 'A' this year by studying for an extra hour every day".

Using a chess coach as an example, Tough suggests that as children reach adolescence they need less 'licking and grooming' and more feedback. They need to be able to talk about where they went wrong and try again. Children that give up when they are criticised don't learn and improve.

As children leave high school and enter college skills such as resilience, ambition, professionalism and integrity are needed. At this stage, children from poor backgrounds have usually had a low quality education compared to affluent children, but if they can scrap into college they have a chance of catching up by the end of the first year, this is because many of the affluent children coast and enjoy the social life for the first year.

Tough concludes that addressing poverty should probably begin with better paediatric care and parenting courses for infants, followed by soft skills training for pre-schoolers and school age children and college readiness courses beginning 3 or 4 years before college. While schools and teachers play an important role in the success of children, so do families and home life.

After Asceticism by The Linacre Institute

This book looks at the issue of child sex abuse in the Catholic Church in the US. It starts with an analysis of the problem, showing that abuse peaked in the 1960s and 1970s (with first offences usually occurring ten years after ordination) and that most offences were incidents of pederasty (boys in puberty and adolescence).

The book blames a rise in hedonistic/pagan culture (sexualisation) in the 60s and 70s coupled with a fall in the ascetic practices of priests and religious which might otherwise have given them some defence against temptation. Added to this was the trust parents placed in the integrity of priests. Around the same time there was a general increase in theological dissent and changes to liturgical practices that left many priests unhappy and confused about their role. This increase in discontent amongst priests was one reason many of them left the priesthood. It also contributed to a huge drop in vocations (priests and religious no longer encouraged young people to follow a vocation they were dissatisfied with themselves) which in turn left the remaining priests overworked and stressed.

The report blames a reliance by the bishops on therapeutic psychology rather than time tested spiritual practices for the failure to bring the problem under control sooner. By treating priests as ordinary men their problems were seen as personality issues caused by repression and immature sexual development (celibacy was blamed). The prayer life and fasting of the priest, the cultivation of virtue and self-control, which had for centuries been recognised as essential to maintaining celibacy, was given no consideration by the psychologists.

The report estimates that 30% of priests were and still are homosexual (much higher than in the general population). It suggests that sexual problems have moved from the illegal to the immoral. So while sexual abuse of children has been tackled, the problem of priests not keeping their vows remains. Liberal thinking, even amongst some bishops, suggests that a priest can be indulge in sex outside of marriage but still do a good job as a priest. The report argues that the hypocrisy of the priest, his being open to blackmail, and general lack of holiness greatly reduce his effectiveness.

The report rejects the idea that the church recruited seminarians with personality issues who were likely to go on to abuse children, or that the ascetic practices at seminaries bred abusers. It points out that most first offences occurred ten years after ordination. Instead the report suggests that priests who had become active homosexuals in parishes, ended up teaching in seminaries giving them a ready supply of impressionable young seminarians to either seduce or abuse.

"the sexual corruption that entered into seminary training in the 1960′s and ’70′s did not come before the increase in sexual permissiveness that had taken hold of segments of ordained clergy, but rather resulted from men, already ordained as priests, bringing their attitude and lifestyle recently acquired back into the seminaries as teachers during a period of significant confusion in the Church. This sexual licentiousness among segments of the ordained clergy occurred concurrently with a rising crisis of confidence among all clergy…The atmosphere of disciplinary and doctrinal defiance common to the time [60's & 70's] would have encouraged confusion among the rank and file priests, and in the deviant, the sexual behaviour afoot; these conditions remain in many places today but they do not manifest themselves in the form of sexual abuse of minors"

The report looks at whether a person is born gay or whether it is socially conditioned.  It suggests that if a child's first sexual encounter is same-sex or they are in an environment that encourages same-sex relationships, they are more likely to become homosexual. So there is an element of nature and nurture.

Focus by Daniel Goleman

After a promising start this book proved disappointing. Goleman emphasises the need for each of us to consider ourselves, others, and the systems we live in, when making choices. After a certain IQ point (a little above the average) people who are self aware, empathetic, and can easily understand the big picture (how an organisation operates) are more likely to succeed than simply the best intellects.

If we go through life in a state of busyness (multitasking, skim reading, looking at our phones etc) we are unlikely to see the people around us or be in tune with ourselves. Goleman's two solution are brain training exercises (a chance to talk about brain plasticity) and mindfulness. People who meditate quickly become more self aware and more other focused.

Goleman gives a good deal of time to climate change and the importance of the common good in making business decisions. Here he rehashes what has been said about our tendancy to deal with problems that are immediate and to ignore the long term. He condemns politicians who care only about being reelected and not the mess that is being left for future generations.

Most of the case studies Goleman uses come from his immediate family or work colleagues which suggests he's either name dropping or the book involved very little research.